I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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