There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You ate ashes out of my bong
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