there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
