She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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