you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
