Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
