I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
