you would pick up someone in the library
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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