Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
