BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You did what with his pubic hair?
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