dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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