I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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