I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
