Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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