We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
