I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
