the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
