If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
