I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
