How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
