Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
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Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
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Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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