I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
