i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
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