This is not my ceiling
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
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She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
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and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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