okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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