just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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