very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
