You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
