im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
