How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
