sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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