I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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