Please, let me fuck your mom
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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