In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
