I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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