Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
