do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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