Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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