Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Randomize
