just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
