Four minutes until I can fart!
Is it because I queefed?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize