Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
