So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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