i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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