I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
