Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
me + whiskey = a bad person
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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