After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's just like the Real World with babies
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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