wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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