Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
