i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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