whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
