I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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