yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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