I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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