I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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