Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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