Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize