Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
