My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
