she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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