Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
