Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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